 We have explored Secure Attachment, Anxious Attachment & today we will start our attachment theory studies by exploring:
Avoidant attachment Let's start here... Dr. Marlene Moretti created the concept of an attachment coin 🟡which offers us a visual reminder that our attachment is made up of two primary needs: Connection & Independence While anxious attachment leads people to seek out closeness and connection, avoidant attachment centers on the other side of the attachment coin, distance and independence…. because any emotional or physical closeness or connection is too distressing 😢 What the experience of Avoidant Attachment can be like, across the lifespan: 🔹Distant/Unavailable: I am going to keep you at an arm’s length away. 🔹Fearful: If we become emotionally & physically connected, you will abandon me. 🔹Aloof: I am going to act like I don’t even care. There has been lots of research done about what’s happening with heart rate ♥️ While people with an anxious attachment style physically appear more anxious, people with an avoidant attachment pattern were found to be much more anxious, internally. Remember: Attachment is not about love, it is about security'. ~ Roger Solomon Reflective prompts, for you: ✨How do you feel? ✨What do you need? ✨How can you support yourself in meeting your needs? ✨How can others support you in meeting your needs? Soothing Strategy: Be gentle with yourself. Consider who you can reach out to, including a counsellor. Would love to hear your reflections, below! Attachment theory is used by our counselling team and guides the Trauma-Informed Yoga Psychology School. We take a deep dive into exploring how our experiences in relationships impact the ways we show up in the world. ♥️ Dr. Melissa Jay
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 We have explored Secure Attachment & today we will start our attachment theory studies by exploring:
Anxious attachment Anxious attachment is experienced as the fear of losing the relationship can lead to a heightened need for closeness and distress that any independence will lead to loss. What Anxious Attachment can look like, across the lifespan: 🔹Fearful: ‘I am so deathly scared that I will lose you, that I am going to keep you close’. 🔹'I am going to try and keep you close in ANY way I can think of'. 🔹Any independence feels like am going to be alone and abandoned. 🔹Any independence is too scary. 'Attachment is not about love, it is about security'. ~ Roger Solomon Reflective prompts, for you: ✨How do you feel? ✨What do you need? ✨How can you support yourself in meeting your needs? ✨How can others support you in meeting your needs? ✨Consider who you can reach out to, including a counsellor. Would love to hear your reflections, below! Attachment theory is used by our counselling team and guides the Trauma-Informed Yoga Psychology School. We take a deep dive into exploring how our experiences in relationships impact the ways we show up in the world. ♥️ Dr. Melissa Jay |
About this Blog:I’m Dr. Melissa Jay, a registered psychologist, yoga therapist, and educator. Archives
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Canmore Counselling & Trauma-Informed Yoga Psychology School is an Indigenous and Black-owned family business, co-created by Melissa Jay and Michael Yudcovitch.
Our team lives across Turtle Island, and we honour the Nations who continue to nurture these lands. Our primary office is located in Châ Ûpchîchîyen Kudebi (translated from Îyârhe Nakoda as “shooting at the willows”), colonially known as Canmore, on Treaty 7 territory and the current and ancestral lands of the Îyârhe Nakoda (Stoney Nakoda), Tsuut’ina First Nation, and Blackfoot Confederacy. These lands are also home to the Rocky View Métis District 4 within the Battle River Territory.
We are grateful to be students, practitioners, and guides of yoga, an Indigenous wisdom tradition with roots in India and across South Asia and parts of Africa. We are committed to learning from and amplifying South Asian teachers and practitioners while continuing to learn alongside our own students, faculty, and alumni. We believe trauma-informed care requires an active commitment to community, social justice, decolonization, anti-oppression, anti-racism, reciprocity, and meaningful care for people and communities who have been intentionally and historically marginalized.
As a team, we are committed to uplifting Truth, language, culture, and relationship as essential to right relations and to our ongoing work of reconciliation and decolonization. Thank you for being here :)
Our team lives across Turtle Island, and we honour the Nations who continue to nurture these lands. Our primary office is located in Châ Ûpchîchîyen Kudebi (translated from Îyârhe Nakoda as “shooting at the willows”), colonially known as Canmore, on Treaty 7 territory and the current and ancestral lands of the Îyârhe Nakoda (Stoney Nakoda), Tsuut’ina First Nation, and Blackfoot Confederacy. These lands are also home to the Rocky View Métis District 4 within the Battle River Territory.
We are grateful to be students, practitioners, and guides of yoga, an Indigenous wisdom tradition with roots in India and across South Asia and parts of Africa. We are committed to learning from and amplifying South Asian teachers and practitioners while continuing to learn alongside our own students, faculty, and alumni. We believe trauma-informed care requires an active commitment to community, social justice, decolonization, anti-oppression, anti-racism, reciprocity, and meaningful care for people and communities who have been intentionally and historically marginalized.
As a team, we are committed to uplifting Truth, language, culture, and relationship as essential to right relations and to our ongoing work of reconciliation and decolonization. Thank you for being here :)