 Attachment theory is one of the theories that guides the Trauma-Informed Yoga Psychology School. We take a deep dive into exploring how our experiences in relationships impact the ways we show up in the world.
One of my attachment teachers along the way, Roger Solomon, has said: 💗 Attachment is not about love, it is about security. #micdrop Mary Ainsworth’s research identified that there are four attachment styles, which we are going to explore, together. Starting with Secure Attachment 💗 Secure attachment: When we are in a relationship where we feel safe and secure, we are then able to go off into the world and be independent and do the things that we want to do on our own. Because we know that when the bumps and bruises happen… (because they will…) (because life is hard….) … that we can come back, and that person is going to be there. To collect us. To hold us. Secure attachment is comfort in experiencing both closeness and independence, in the relationship. Consistency in the relationship nurtures our sense of safety and security, in relationships. Reflective prompts, for you: ✨What does security, in relationships, mean to you? ✨What does safety, in relationships, mean to you? ✨What does safety or security feel like, in your body? ✨Perhaps there are times when you have felt safe & secure in a relationship... This might be a therapist, a friend, or someone else... we need only one person to support us in deepening our sense of safety and security. ✨Lean-into those who collect and hold you, when life feels hard. Would love to hear your reflections! These teachings are an integral part of our Trauma-Informed Yoga Psychology School teacher trainings and our Counselling Team's approach! ♥️ Dr. Melissa Jay
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 Together we are going to dive into attachment theory by being curious about how our connections with others and our experiences in those relationships can impact us, throughout our lives. Attachment theory is NOT focused solely on looking at the relationship between a baby and their caregiver.... attachment is lifelong & our attachment patterns (like all patterns) can shift along the way, based on our experiences, in relationships. These teachings are an integral part of our Trauma-Informed Yoga Psychology School teacher trainings and our Counselling Team's approach! Our the next couple of months, we will explore: 1. Secure Attachment 2. Anxious Attachment 3. Avoidant Attachment 4. Disorganized Attachment 5. Secure Base 6. Safe Haven 7. Attachment-Based Lens I will prompt reflections on our relationships, past-present-future 💫 A reflective prompt, for you today: What are you most curious about, when it comes to attachment theory? Please share with me, below! ♥️Dr. Melissa Jay   Did you know that BIPOC stands for Black, Indigenous, People of Colour?
If so, cool 👌🏽 If not, it's true! Did you know that Canmore Counselling & the Trauma-Informed Yoga Psychology School is BIPOC-Owned and led? If so, cool 👌🏽 If not, it's true! Michael & I are both proudly part of the global BIPOC community and honoured to share our gifts! Something has shifted during the pandemic... FINALLY people are amplifying BIPOC businesses, practitioners, professionals & leaders. My heart is trusting that this shift can lead to nurturing and reciprocal relationships This requires a commitment to being the change... most often, BIPOC folks are tokenized or included once, to appear inclusive. Yikes. Nurturing & reciprocal relations takes time. It means dedicating time & space for BIPOC folks to have a say, to be heard, have their wisdom valued & invited back, again and again and again. Reciprocal & ongoing relations are the only way forward. We know that being business owners, practitioners & educators is a huge privilege that we take very seriously. We do a ton of advocacy & consultation, behind-the-scenes, and continue to dedicate ourselves to creating anti-oppressive spaces... Whenever possible, amplifying and empowering those who go unheard due to systemic oppression, racism & marginalization. We are so glad you’re here You are welcome here and we empower you to seek out, learn from & amplify other BIPOC-led businesses & organizations too! Please remember to give shout outs, tags & referrals any time you are inspired or have learned from what is being created & shared by BIPOC folks I have so much more to say... for now, I invite you to share with me anything that might have sparked curiosity or landed for you! With big love, Dr. Melissa Jay Some additional self-reflective prompts: From me: What does decolonization mean to you? From Michael: What does Black History Month mean to you?  We have explored the first 7 limbs of yoga... 1. Yamas (outer ethical codes) 2. Niyamas (the the inner, personal ethical practices) 3. Asana (postures) 4. Pranayama (breath control) 5. Pratyahara (withdraw of senses) & 6. Dharana (Mindfulness) 7. Dhyana (Meditation) & today we explore the 8th limb...
♥️Samadhi ♥️ (Bliss, Unity, Enlightenment) It is hard to describe samadhi because it is an experience! Experiencing the witnesser and the witnessed, as one. Let’s break it down: It is human nature to be caught up in our day-to-day tasks, relationships & responsibilities (hello, email, texts, social!) As we practice being a witness to ourselves, we begin to notice the interconnectedness we experience with others, with nature, with Universal energy. When we merge with the interconnectedness, we release the illusion of separateness and experience unity... Reconnecting us to our innate capacity for love, compassion & kindness. We experience bliss. We are bliss. Patanjali taught that through the practices of Dharana & Dhyana, Samadhi could be considered the culmination of meditation. Practice is all you need Practice is all that is required “Yoga is the journey of the Self, to the Self, through the Self.” ~ The Bhagavad Gita A practice prompt: What practices might support you in experiencing Samadhi? Please share your reflections, if you are called to! ♥️Dr. Melissa Jay  We have explored the first 6th limbs... 1. Yamas (outer ethical codes) 2. Niyamas (the the inner, personal ethical practices) 3. Asana (postures) 4. Pranayama (breath control) 5. Pratyahara (withdraw of senses) 6. Dharana (Mindfulness) & today, the 7th limb...
♥️Dhyana♥️ (Meditation) Nischala Joy Devi described dhyana as ‘the continuous inward flow of consciousness’. What I love about this description is that it points to the continuous flow. When I was learning about yoga and meditation I remember saying 'I could never meditate because my mind is too busy'. Ummmmm... That is exactly why mediation is helpful! Everyone's mind is naturally busy. By practicing meditation, we befriend ourselves by being a witness to our ever changing thoughts, feelings, sensations and, instead, just notice. And then sometime the noticing fades away and there are moments of just being. Just being. Being in the gap. The gap between thoughts. The gap that often feels elusive and yet is available through practice.... Practice being the keyword as with each of the eight limbs of yoga. Practice invites us to show up each day with no memory of the past, no goal for the future, just a commitment to being here, just as we are, in the present moment. Meditation does not require you to sit on the floor cross legged with your eyes closed. That is only one way you might choose to practice. Join me in a practice of a 9-minute mediation: click here Also, Julie & Anne, have beautiful practices available on Simple Habit, a Free App! So grateful to have Julie & Anne as part of our facutly Reflective prompt: How can you support yourself in expanding your practice of dhyana? ♥️ Dr. Melissa Jay |
About this Blog:I’m Dr. Melissa Jay, a registered psychologist, yoga therapist, and educator. Archives
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Dr. Melissa Jay is an Indigenous, nehiyaw-Métis member of the Métis Nation of Alberta. The primary location of Canmore Counselling and Trauma-Informed Yoga Psychology School is located in Chuwapchipchiyan Kudi Bi (translated from Îyârhe Nakoda as “shooting at the willows”), colonially known as Canmore. We are grateful to be located on Treaty 7 territory and the current and ancestral lands of the Îyârhe Nakoda (Stoney Nakoda), which includes of the Bearspaw First Nation, Chiniki First Nation, and Goodstoney First Nation, as well as the Tsuut’ina First Nation and the Blackfoot Confederacy, including the Siksika First Nation, Piikani First Nation, and Kainai First Nation. This is also the home to the Rocky View Métis District 4 within the Battle River Territory. We recognize all Nations who continue to nurture these lands, and we are dedicated to uplifting Truth, language, and culture as essential to right relations. As an act of reconciliation and commitment to decolonization, we are committed to the TRC's Calls to Action.
At Canmore Counselling, we are also privileged to be yoga students, practitioners, and guides. Our offerings centre on the root of yoga as Indigenous to South Asia, and we are grateful to learn from and amplify the South Asian practitioners and teachers whenever possible. We are grateful for the eight limbs of yoga, as taught by Patanjali. It is a joy to walk alongside our incredible alumni of the Trauma-Informed Yoga Psychology School as they create opportunities for care, connection & curiosity within their communities.
We believe wholeheartedly that trauma-informed care requires commitment to community, social justice, decolonization, anti-oppression, and anti-racism. Thank you for being here :)
At Canmore Counselling, we are also privileged to be yoga students, practitioners, and guides. Our offerings centre on the root of yoga as Indigenous to South Asia, and we are grateful to learn from and amplify the South Asian practitioners and teachers whenever possible. We are grateful for the eight limbs of yoga, as taught by Patanjali. It is a joy to walk alongside our incredible alumni of the Trauma-Informed Yoga Psychology School as they create opportunities for care, connection & curiosity within their communities.
We believe wholeheartedly that trauma-informed care requires commitment to community, social justice, decolonization, anti-oppression, and anti-racism. Thank you for being here :)