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Attachment Studies: Avoidant Attachment

3/13/2021

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We have explored Secure Attachment, Anxious Attachment & today we will start our attachment theory studies by exploring: 

Avoidant attachment 

Let's start here... Dr. Marlene Moretti created the concept of an attachment coin ⁠🟡which offers us a visual reminder that our attachment is made up of two primary needs: Connection & Independence
⁠
While anxious attachment leads people to seek out closeness and connection, avoidant attachment centers on the other side of the attachment coin, distance and independence…. because ⁠any emotional or physical closeness or connection is too distressing 😢 
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What the experience of Avoidant Attachment can be like, across the lifespan:⁠
🔹Distant/Unavailable: I am going to keep you at an arm’s length away.
🔹Fearful: If we become emotionally & physically connected, you will abandon me.   
🔹Aloof: I am going to act like I don’t even care.  ⁠
⁠
There has been lots of research done about what’s happening with heart rate ♥️
While people with an anxious attachment style physically appear more anxious, people with an avoidant attachment pattern were found to be much more anxious, internally. ⁠⁠
⁠
Remember:
Attachment is not about love, it is about security'.

~ Roger Solomon ⁠

Reflective prompts, for you: ⁠
✨How do you feel?⁠
✨What do you need?⁠
✨How can you support yourself in meeting your needs?⁠
✨How can others support you in meeting your needs?⁠

Soothing Strategy:
Be gentle with yourself.
C
onsider who you can reach out to, including a counsellor.
⁠
Would love to hear your reflections, below!
⁠
Attachment theory is used by our counselling team and guides the Trauma-Informed Yoga Psychology School. We take a deep dive into exploring how our experiences in relationships impact the ways we show up in the world. 
⁠
♥️ Dr. Melissa Jay
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    Dr. Melissa Jay

    Welcome!

    This blog is a place to share a bit about my work which is dedicated to exploring the intersections between ancient Indigenous & yogic wisdom traditions and modern psychological theory & concepts.

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Dr. Melissa Jay is an Indigenous, Nehiyaw-Métis member of the Métis Nation of Alberta. Canmore Counselling is located Châ Ûpchîchîyen Kudebi (translated from Îyârhe Nakoda as “shooting at the willows”), colonially known as Canmore. The physical location of Canmore Counselling & the Trauma-Informed Yoga Psychology is in the beautiful Rocky Mountains, which is considered Treaty 7 land and home of Métis Nation of Alberta, Region III, and the traditional territory of the Îyârhe Nakoda, including the Bearspaw, Chiniki, and Wesley First Nations, as well as the Tsuut’ina First Nation, and the Blackfoot Confederacy, including the Siksika, Piikani, and Kainai First Nations. As an act of reconciliation and commitment to decolonization, we are committed to the TRC's Calls to Action.

At Canmore Counselling, we are also privileged to be yoga students, practitioners, and guides. Our offerings centre on the root of yoga as Indigenous to South Asia, and we are grateful to learn from and amplify the South Asian practitioners and teachers whenever possible. We are grateful for the eight limbs of yoga, as taught by Patanjali. It is a joy to walk alongside our incredible alumni of the Trauma-Informed Yoga Psychology School as they create opportunities for care, connection & curiosity within their communities. 


We believe wholeheartedly that community, social justice, decolonization, anti-oppression, and anti-racism are inherent to trauma-informed care. Thank you for being here. ​
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  • Services & Team.
    • Fairmont.
    • Rimrock.
    • Counselling.
    • Ayurvedic Nutrition.
    • Workshops.
  • HBA
  • Yoga School.
    • Yoga Therapy. >
      • Yoga School Faculty.
      • Yoga Therapy Tuition.
      • Yoga School Courses.
    • 200-Hour YTT
    • 300-Hour Certification
    • Kids & Teens Certification
    • Prenatal Certification
    • YTT FAQ
    • Alumni Testimonials.
  • Book Now.
  • Blog.
  • Covid-19.
  • CE.
  • Practice.
  • Counselling.