We have explored Secure Attachment, Anxious Attachment & today we will start our attachment theory studies by exploring:
Let's start here... Dr. Marlene Moretti created the concept of an attachment coin 🟡which offers us a visual reminder that our attachment is made up of two primary needs: Connection & Independence
While anxious attachment leads people to seek out closeness and connection, avoidant attachment centers on the other side of the attachment coin, distance and independence…. because any emotional or physical closeness or connection is too distressing 😢
What the experience of Avoidant Attachment can be like, across the lifespan:
🔹Distant/Unavailable: I am going to keep you at an arm’s length away.
🔹Fearful: If we become emotionally & physically connected, you will abandon me.
🔹Aloof: I am going to act like I don’t even care.
There has been lots of research done about what’s happening with heart rate ♥️
While people with an anxious attachment style physically appear more anxious, people with an avoidant attachment pattern were found to be much more anxious, internally.
Attachment is not about love, it is about security'.
~ Roger Solomon
Reflective prompts, for you:
✨How do you feel?
✨What do you need?
✨How can you support yourself in meeting your needs?
✨How can others support you in meeting your needs?
Be gentle with yourself.
Consider who you can reach out to, including a counsellor.
Would love to hear your reflections, below!
Attachment theory is used by our counselling team and guides the Trauma-Informed Yoga Psychology School. We take a deep dive into exploring how our experiences in relationships impact the ways we show up in the world.
♥️ Dr. Melissa Jay
Dr. Melissa Jay