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Attachment Studies: Avoidant Attachment

3/13/2021

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We have explored Secure Attachment, Anxious Attachment & today we will start our attachment theory studies by exploring: 

Avoidant attachment 

Let's start here... Dr. Marlene Moretti created the concept of an attachment coin ⁠🟡which offers us a visual reminder that our attachment is made up of two primary needs: Connection & Independence
⁠
While anxious attachment leads people to seek out closeness and connection, avoidant attachment centers on the other side of the attachment coin, distance and independence…. because ⁠any emotional or physical closeness or connection is too distressing 😢 
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What the experience of Avoidant Attachment can be like, across the lifespan:⁠
🔹Distant/Unavailable: I am going to keep you at an arm’s length away.
🔹Fearful: If we become emotionally & physically connected, you will abandon me.   
🔹Aloof: I am going to act like I don’t even care.  ⁠
⁠
There has been lots of research done about what’s happening with heart rate ♥️
While people with an anxious attachment style physically appear more anxious, people with an avoidant attachment pattern were found to be much more anxious, internally. ⁠⁠
⁠
Remember:
Attachment is not about love, it is about security'.

~ Roger Solomon ⁠

Reflective prompts, for you: ⁠
✨How do you feel?⁠
✨What do you need?⁠
✨How can you support yourself in meeting your needs?⁠
✨How can others support you in meeting your needs?⁠

Soothing Strategy:
Be gentle with yourself.
C
onsider who you can reach out to, including a counsellor.
⁠
Would love to hear your reflections, below!
⁠
Attachment theory is used by our counselling team and guides the Trauma-Informed Yoga Psychology School. We take a deep dive into exploring how our experiences in relationships impact the ways we show up in the world. 
⁠
♥️ Dr. Melissa Jay
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    Dr. Melissa Jay

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    This blog is a place to share a bit about my work which is dedicated to exploring the intersections between ancient Indigenous & yogic wisdom traditions and modern psychological theory & concepts.

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Dr. Melissa Jay is an Indigenous, Nehiyaw-Métis member of the Métis Nation of Alberta. Canmore Counselling is located Chuwapchipchiyân Kudi Bi (translated from Îyârhe Nakoda as “shooting at the willows”), colonially known as Canmore. We are located the beautiful Rocky Mountains which is considered Treaty 7 land, the traditional territory of the Îyârhe Nakoda, including the Bearspaw, Chiniki, and Wesley First Nations, as well as the Tsuut’ina First Nation, and the Blackfoot Confederacy, including the Siksika, Piikani, and Kainai First Nations, and home of Métis Nation of Alberta, Region III. As an act of reconciliation and decolonization, may we work together to answer the TRC's Calls to Action: Truth & Reconciliation Commission Reports and Findings. 
At Canmore Counselling we are also priveleged to be yoga students, practitoners, and guides. Our offerings are dedicated to honouring the root of yoga and learning from and amplifying the voices of South Asian practitioners and teachers whenever possible. We are grateful for the eight limbs of yoga, as taught by Patanjali. It is a joy to walk alongside our incredible alumni of the Trauma-Informed Yoga Psychology School as they create opportunities for care, connection & curiosity within their communities.
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  • Home.
  • Services & Team.
    • Fairmont.
    • Counselling.
    • Ayurvedic Nutrition.
    • Workshops.
  • Yoga School.
    • 200-Hour YTT
    • 300-Hour YTT
    • Yoga for Kids YTT
    • Prenatal YTT
    • Alumni Testimonials.
  • Book Now.
  • Blog.
  • Covid-19.
  • CE.
  • Practice.